5 renowned psychiatrists reveal the 6 keys to true happiness

Several psychiatrists, including the world's leading experts in wellbeing, explain what they consider basic to being happy. These are the six keys on which they agree and that we must take into account.

On social networks, blogs and other internet sites you may get tired of reading articles or watching videos of gurus, 'influencers' and 'coaches' who offer ways to achieve what they call “true happiness”. We have gone to the specialists, with academic degrees and who have truly studied the human mind and have investigated the mechanisms that lead us to be happy.

They are neuroscientists, professors at the most prestigious universities and specialists in popularization. Psychiatrists clarify what we should understand by happiness, which is a feeling of fullness and well-being as opposed to sadness and anguish. They all agree that we often confuse our objectives.

It is not so easy to find the secret of happiness when society often presents us with mirages of false desires that will not make us happy. It is significant that, no matter where you come from and the cultural customs, the bases of happiness are common to all.

HAPPINESS IS LITTLE THINGS

One of the points to highlight first is surely given to us by one of the world's leading experts on happiness, Dr. Robert Waldinger, Harvard professor and the fourth director of the Adult Development Study, the largest research this university has conducted on happiness.

Dr. Waldinger reminds us that the commitment to simplicity and the beauty of small things, as proposed by Hindu philosophy, is much closer to the idea of happiness than the one we have in our society.

“From an early age we are conditioned with the idea of being great and that you are truly fulfilled if you stand out from the rest,” explained the psychiatrist. But there are exceptions. This is not the case in Sweden. The ability to adapt and be a normal, average person is emphasized. And you know what? Sweden has one of the highest rates of happiness.

To reach this happy simplicity he proposes three things we can do:

• Stop judging yourself. In pursuit of the goal of success at all costs, we can become our own worst judges.

• Stop idolizing. It is okay to admire someone within limits. The mistake is to seek to become that extraordinary.

• Enjoy things. You don't notice the sun because you live in a sunny place. We must learn to appreciate the ordinary and that it is wonderful even if we take it for granted.

DON'T GET STUCK

If we are to pursue happiness, that pursuit requires movement. Dr. Nassir Ghaemi, Professor of Psychiatry at Tufts University (Boston) and a Harvard lecturer, has explained it.

It is what he considers the ten-year rule. Every decade we should consider changes in our lives. This is the only way to feel fully satisfied.

When you master something, you have to move in other directions. It is not necessary to change everything. But what you should not do is rest on your laurels. You have to be open to new challenges.

You can say that in the tranquility of known work there is happiness. Dr. Ghaemi does not deny it. He only points out that it is not always easy and even less anchored in routines.

This philosophy of change encompasses other aspects as well. Just as we talk about a ten-year cycle at work, you can also consider changes in your hobbies. Does happiness consist of always watching the same type of movies, reading the same books, playing the same sports and traveling to the same place?

BE MORE PATIENT AND REFLECTIVE

Spanish psychiatrist and writer Marian Rojas Estapé laments that we have become, in general, more impatient and less reflective. We demand constant gratification and are easily distracted.

That is why she proposes a series of strategies to deal with this “ordago” that life throws at us and to recover our lost emotional balance:

• Curb sugar. “The consumption of foods rich in sugar leads to an increase in cortisol (stress hormone),” stresses the psychiatrist.
• Relax the mind. Thinking, making decisions and planning provoke symptoms of mental fatigue. The solution is to take a walk in the countryside or on the beach without a cell phone, go to a classical music concert, meditate, pray, take care of the plants, run, etc.
• Don't be afraid. “Fear darkens the mind and causes us to lose the clarity to make decisions”.
• Sleep your hours. Lack of sleep causes lack of concentration, irritability and discomfort.
• Order your ideas. “He who does not know what he wants, cannot be happy”. And, to know what you want, it is essential to identify and order your ideas.

GET READY FOR GOOD LUCK

Dr. Estapé has also raised another interesting point that can lead to happiness. She has been able to discern what things people do differently that attract good luck.

If you have wondered how lucky some people are or why it seems that everything good comes their way, it is not pure luck. It's preparation. It's about being prepared to receive the good things.

“You have to prepare yourself, because when you prepare yourself, you receive opportunities better,” said Dr. Rojas.

Another important factor is optimism. If you see things with optimism, it is easier for you not to act with fear and to be more open to opportunities. There is a Greek phrase, attributed to Virgil, “fortune favors the bold”, which already had an impact on this aspect. Throughout the centuries, the most daring have had more chances to prosper.

There is a scientific basis behind all this. When there is optimism, you are more excited about things and you see them closer, you believe more that you can get them and that can bring you closer to your goal.

If you are looking for a job, but you doubt you will get it, you will not try hard enough sending resumes and insisting. If you firmly believe that you will end up getting it, it is certain that you will put much more will and you will be more attentive to the vacant opportunities.

AVOID IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Another prestigious Spanish psychiatrist, Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos, raises another aspect that distances us from happiness: “Feeling inferior seems to be very common nowadays, as evidenced by the fact that many people around the world,” he explains, “fall into what is called the impostor syndrome or fraud syndrome.

These people dismissed their own successes, putting them down to good luck rather than their own talent, and even considered them to be false, which led to a fear of being found out.

These people dismissed their own successes, blaming them on good luck rather than their own talent, and even considered them to be false, which led to a fear of being found out.

It is not officially considered a psychiatric disorder, but it is a frequent cause of psychological problems, such as physical and emotional exhaustion, loss of interest or burnout, social difficulties.

We can avoid this feeling of fraud and Dr. Rojas suggests five ways to do so:

• Develop the ability to observe and evaluate yourself rigorously.
• Find your point of equilibrium. It is taking steps to understand the problem and solve it, including the option of seeking help.
• Write down the fiercest self-criticisms you engage in. And there's another list of your strengths and accomplishments. “Memory is selective and how it works has a lot to do with how we view life. That is why it is so important to take note of victories and positive experiences, and always have them at hand,” writes the psychiatrist.
• Don't hesitate, throw yourself flowers, flatter yourself without blushing.
• If you need it, ask for help. With the help of a specialist you can learn how to detect (first) and deal with (later) these personal conflicts.

BE COHERENT AND REALISTIC

Having a purpose in life, a goal that responds to your personal desires and drives you forward every morning, is the last aspect that psychiatrists insist on for you to have a full and happy life.

This is the summary made by the psychiatrist Enrique Rojas, who stated, among other things, that “a happy person is one who has been able to design a coherent and realistic life project”.

For Dr. Rojas, this design is very personal. While for some people happiness is having a large amount of money in their current account, for others, this state of well-being only comes through strong and consolidated personal relationships.

However, regardless of what we give priority to, for the psychiatrist the way to approach or even achieve happiness (whatever it may be) is the same. In other words, the steps to follow are not different.

In addition, Rojas stresses the idea that emotional well-being is not experienced when the goal is achieved, but along the way. The feeling of progress is what fills us with satisfaction.

These steps to build our project are:

• It must be individual and once we have identified our purpose, it must be coherent.
• Integrative: it should include five aspects: love, work, culture, friendship and hobbies.
• Be enthusiastic: being realistic does not mean that you should not have an exciting project. “Happiness consists of illusion. And that translates into longing, hope and enthusiasm,” says Dr. Rojas.

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